My friend Easter Shot Hunt

My friend Joel once wrote a something about a girl, and one of the lines was, "I'm raising my hand in class because I know all the answers, and they all begin with your name." It was beautiful. And, well, after dinner tonight, Jes, Lou and I--especially Lou--couldn't stop answering things without saying "Easter Shot Hunt." It's not beautiful. But it's original, and it's the best idea we've ever had. Make of that what you will. It will probably just be me, Lou, Jes, Larry and presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but we've grown to accept the things we cannot change.

Here's the description, per our Facebook event invite:

Hello, America:

There's an important, national race going on, but the most difficult challenge is this--finding shots under plastic, pastel Easter eggs throughout Candy's house and then following it up with a brunch, Irish coffee and Monty Python. There will be three-to-five types of shots offered, all hidden throughout the house. Whoever finds and consumes the most shots wins a chocolate bunny. Afterward we will sober up, and press up, with a brunch of eggs (duh!), ham, bread products, tater tots and Irish coffee (OK, maybe we were wrong about the sobering up part). Following that, we will watch Monty Python--a good, Christian Easter movie. You won't want to miss this! It's an original idea and the best idea that Jes, Lou and Candy have ever had. Bring your top friends, bring your non-top friends and, most importantly, bring your game.

My friend Jim Cromie once told me that his mother took her Catholicism so seriously that she wouldn't eat meat on ANY Friday--even beyond Lenten. Today I realized I'm becoming his mom, even though I'm not Catholic. I, too, equate the fish sandwich with absolution. The more fish I eat, the more balanced my sin. I'm not alone, Friends. Many good folks line up at church social halls to get their oversized fish on an undersized bun. Some places take it a step further. In fact, there's a bingo hall--not naming names--that has a BYOB Fish Fry. People drink beer from coolers and eat fish sandwiches wrapped in foil. Others partake in the 2 filet-o-fish meal at McDonald's. Hey, it may be gluttony, but AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT EATING THE BODY OF CHRIST!

If people put half as much concern into anything else as their fish fry, the world would change immensely. Think about it: What would happen if people exercised every Friday, or made a new friend every Friday, or wrote a love letter every Friday. This is my next Facebook event. This is my first book: One Fish Sandwich away from Heaven.

My friends Friends reminded me of the special events coming up--St. Patrick's Day, Easter Shot Hunt, Easter weekend, Pirates opener, an April wedding, the most important interview of my life, Cinco de Mayo party, Larry's birthday, the beach vaca, Lou's birthday/going away party/not really, Red Wyko & Blue, NYC trip with the girl(s), California weekend, an August wedding, our anniversary, a September wedding, and then the fall holiday/birthday scene starts over again. I'm looking forward to all of them, and to all of the special days in between! :-)

My friend (and mom) Miss Linda reminded me that it's daylight savings this weekend! And now I'm reminding all of you! Who says I'm not useful?

My friend (and daughter) Cienna shared her genius again today during the following family conversation.

Larry: Do you know how many times I read Sleeping Beauty last night?
Me: Wow. What's that like? I can only imagine what you sound like while you read fairytales. It's probably like Eeyore reading a fairytale.
Larry: Can't you get her a book about the Penguins?
Cienna: I have that, Dad. They sit on the eggs, you member?
Larry: Uggghhh. Yeah.
Cienna: Are you mad like my friend, Daddy? My friend was mad at school last night.
Me: Not last night, honey. Yesterday.
Cienna: My friend was mad at school yesterday because she was sad because she said we weren't playing with her.
Me: Even grown-ups have those days.
Cienna: I always play with her. I always play with my friends.
Me: I believe you. I know you do.
Cienna: Do you ever make your friends cry, Mommy?
Me: I'm sure I have.
Cienna: Why?
Me: I don't know. Because we make poor life choices sometimes.
Cienna: You made a mistake, Mommy?
Me: Yeah, I really did.
Cienna: Did your friend forgive you, Mommy?
Me: She claims to. But no. I mean, we'd be talking, hanging out, calling, writing, being friends if we were friends, right?
Cienna: My teacher says to forgive, Mommy.
Me: Your teacher is right, Cici.
Cienna: Mommy, will your friend every forgive you?
Me: Not until she realizes it wasn't a question of loyalty. It was a matter of actual health. Or maybe I'm just an idiot.
Cienna: Mommy, did you say you were sorry? My teacher says we're 'poughsta' say sorry.
Me: She doesn't want me to say sorry. It wouldn't change anything. What she wants is what she had a long time ago, and nobody could give that to her. Plus, she's enjoying the alternative too much--not being friends, me not being friends with her friends who also were becoming my friends, all of which is destroyed now. She probably thinks I'm suffering, and that is justice in her mind.
Cienna: Are you suffering, Mommy? What's suffering?
Me: Suffering is like sad. I'm OK. It doesn't hurt like it used to. I used to be sad for your dad because he learned a tough lesson--one that surprised all of us. But the thing about lessons is they make you stronger if you choose to learn from them. And it inspired us to reach out more to our other friends. And the mistakes we made with our old friends are mistakes we can avoid with our new friends.
Cienna: My teacher says we all make mistakes.
Me: Yes. You'll grow to find out that we're all remarkably the same. I learned that the hard way. We all want the same things. We all need the same things. Some of us hide it better. It's a lot like Sleeping Beauty and your other books. They have happy endings, right? They all start out like young boys, girls or animals, and they grow into sad, educated creatures until they find love. They get sad if they think they're going to lose that love. Their friends and families help them, and they live happily ever after.
Cienna: Sleeping Booty has a blue dress. Cinnarella has a pink dress.
Me: Yep. But they both wear dresses.
Cienna: You have a dress, and your friend has a dress. That's the right fing, Mommy?
Me: Yep. We're just two girls, who both wear dresses, who both make mistakes.
Cienna: Did you forgive her like the right way?
Me: There was never a question of my forgiveness. In fact, I'm the only one who they can't seem to forgive.
Cienna: That's silly.
Me: Yep. But sometimes when people are hurting, they want other people to hurt. When they can't forgive, that's how you know they're hurting about something, usually some type of loss or inability to get what they want out of their lives. And if it makes those people feel better to think they're hurting me, so be it. It's on them. That's their emotional response. That's what's going on in their lives, not mine. I've distanced myself from all that. Sometimes that's the only option.
Cienna: Did you friend ever hurt your feelings?
Me: Yes.
Cienna: How'd she do that?
Me: We were at a party with girls, like how you have play dates, and another friend said that I looked skinny, which I clearly was not. But the girl was trying to acknowledge my weight loss from having your brother and working out. And the friend whom I thought was my closest of all of them couldn't keep a straight face. She actually had to bite her lips to keep from laughing I think.
Cienna: What did you do?
Me: I just kept working out. I kept losing weight. And I'll keep on doing it because I have the love and support of real friends and people who care about me.
Cienna: You're pretty, Mommy.
Me: You're full of unconditional love, and you're much too clever for your age! I've got my hands full!
Cienna: Clever? What's clever?
Me: It's being smart in a fast way.
Cienna: I like smart.
Me: Hopefully this conversation didn't stop that. Do you think you learned anything from our talk, Cici.
Cienna: I don't fink so. Grown-ups are like little kids, I fink.

Seriously. I'm astonished daily.

My friend Jonathan is the most forgiving person I know. I became frustrated with him once and told him off. Later, when I realized that, true to form, I said too much, I apologized and asked if he forgave me. He said, "Candy, I forgave you before it happened." And it was true.

Here's hoping we all have a little more of that in our lives.

I love Yinz,
Candy