House of Cards

"Nothing lasts forever. Even the longest, the most glittering reign must come to an end someday."--Michael Dobbs

If you google "house of cards," you'll find an all-encompassing Web site about everything you need to know, or don't, about card games. You'll also find a reference to a TV movie based on a book of the same name by Michael Dobbs, who wrote a timeless story of power and corruption.

A few links to Radiohead's "House of Cards" will also be listed, but those results were much less influential to this blog.

Of greater influence was the origin of the whole idea of "House of Cards" which was best portrayed through Shakespeare's "Macbeth" and "Richard III." The characters are so well developed to tell stories of corruption, self-interest, selfishness and deception. These are longtime themes that spawned the cliche, "When the house of cards falls...," poignantly pointing to the fragility of being on top.

The first time I had ever really heard it used about my own life was while I was pregnant with Cienna.

I was engaged in intellectual warfare with a man who selfishly changed the course of my life--but I let him--and he constantly reminded me that he had the upper hand in every aspect. He had more money, a great job, his own home, a new car and a depth of resources that I could not match. He often told me that once I had my daughter I would end up working at 7eleven, never getting married and would end up as white trash.

People who knew me, apparently better than him, were well aware such ill wishes would only strengthen me.

A mentor, who knew both of us quite well, assured me that his words were empty. "Candy, his house of cards will fall."

And they have.

While I take no pleasure in it, it does serve as a strong reminder to me that what goes around, comes around.

He put me in a position to fight for everything I have. It made me stronger, it taught me to adapt, and it reminded me of an old lesson from a teacher in high school.

"Big shots are often low caliber." --Budd Grebb, my former World Cultures instructor

Though it bears the same meaning, I prefer Mr. Grebb's words to the cliche "big fish in a small pond."

I couldn't help thinking of so many lessons I've learned when I had this conversation this morning.

BigFish: Wow. How enterprising of you. What happened to your perfect world, the cinnamon and flowers, and romanticism of everything.
Me: You happened to that.
BigFish: You can't seriously expect me to say yes to this.
Lawyer: We're not here to ask your permission, Mr. _. We're here as a courtesy.
Me: Not that I owe you that.
BigFish: So you're making another unilateral decision.
Me: I'm making the right decision. I'm following through with dreams you derailed. I'm building a future for my children.
Lawyer: Here's a copy of information you may find useful when questioning my client's right to disclose facts.
BigFish: You love this, don't you. You showed me, right?
Me: To no surprise, you think it's about you. But it's not about you. You're really not on my radar anymore. There's just a strong market for my product.
BigFish: Product? Give me a break. This is about you proving how great you are and what a piece of sh!t I am.
Me: I have nothing to prove. I think I proved enough when I raised a child on my own. And it's not just about this. The end talks a lot about how people from broken homes often go two ways--they either have a strong respect for family and an intense desire for their own, or they have no respect for family, fidelity or loyalty at all, and they try to avoid such commitments intently. To the point that they don't even like to be in the company of people who value those things.
BigFish: Well this doesn't paint a very sympathetic view of me.
Me: I told the truth. If you want to be a sympathetic character then go write yourself. I was honest about my actions too.
BigFish: Have to admit I'm a little surprised you included some things that people won't find very becoming.
Me: I've done some unlikeable things.
BigFish: Why did this have to be the most honest thing you've ever done?
Me: Because it's about the best thing I've ever done.
Lawyer: My client was able to finish the project without using your name.
BigFish: Oh please. Like it matters. Everyone will know.
Me: Only the people who know both of us, and that's certainly not everyone.

And I couldn't help but laugh about that later. Some people have such a small universe, and they really do live as though their popularity and power among eight people mean something. It's always fragile. It always comes back around. It always fails. And it always falls.