Closing out a long week

When our family woke up on April 4th, Nana's birthday, we looked forward to a sunny, spring day full of Easter eggs, the Pens, Final Four fun and family parties. And, in our family, the day went as planned.

But not all Pittsburgh families shared such peace that same Saturday morning. Some found their lives changed forever by senseless violence.

Of course I'm referring to the three Pittsburgh Police Officers who lost their lives in Stanton Heights.

While my kids searched a Mt. Lebanon lawn for plastic eggs, news updates and texts from colleagues filled my phone, telling of a much different, horrific, scene on the other side of the city. It was still early morning, and not all of the facts had been reported yet, but enough had been said and done to ensure the week ahead would be difficult.

I'm not going to get all morose and verbose on you about this, though. If you know me, then you already know what I think about it. And chances are you saw the same moving images I saw and read the same moving words.

But I don't know if I really felt it until I was in Breezewood extremely early Friday morning on my way to D.C. I was refueling at a gas station when I crossed paths with some New Jersey police who said they were on their way home from the memorial service the day before. One of the men had a full shift waiting for him when he got back.

It was the first thing I was asked about during my interview later that morning. How was Pittsburgh?

I think we discussed it for the first 10 minutes, and in my answer I realized how professionally programmed I've become to dealing with loss. I keep it at arms' length until the job is done before I can feel it. This has transferred to my personal life as well.

Which is pretty much how Wednesday happened.

Friends, I'd love to tell you about my life last Wednesday in full detail, but that's not going to happen. 1. I'm tired. 2. There's a chance that some of you may think I'm slightly awesome, and I don't want to change that. (OK. So you all know me too well to think I'm awesome, but still...)

However, I would like to share some quotes that came out of an evening my some of my best college friends when we just needed to laugh. And we did.

A Friend: "As long as I have a clitoris, I can do anything."

....

A Friend: "I don't prefer anal, but I'm certainly not opposed to it."

....

A Friend: "Maybe next time you should stop being nice to girls on dates and just tell them you have a big penis."

....

A Friend: "Erotic Toy Disposal. You know how people need a place to take freon and old computers? It would work the same way, providing a service."

....

A Friend: "Some weird guy just told me not to worry because he took his meds."
A Friend: "I think that same weird guy told me he made 400K working in the grocery business."
A Friend: "I think he may have confused 400K with 401K."

....

A Friend: "I overheard a conversation earlier where a guy told his friend that he was dating a girl who was completely insane but great in bed."

A Friend: "You just described the majority of men's relationships with women."

....

And by the time the Woodalls came home from Washington, in time for sleep and Easter morning, we welcomed more inspired laughter from family and friends.

Me: "Just so you all know, I'm keeping my eggs hidden this year."
....

A trio of family members via text DURING CHURCH! (so wrong): "first row. completely inappropriate. but I'd bang it."

Response: "she dresses like that every time. those pants are so tight you can see her thong."

Response: "no. those pants are so tight you can see she's not wearing a thong. or anything."

Response: "look at that guy across the aisle. the skinny jack black. you can see his nipps through his sweater. ew."

Response: "seriously not trying to be mean here, but is that other guy mentally handicapped or just a midget. i can't tell."

Response: "too far. you're an idiot. i'm embarrassed to be related to you."
....

while discussing my stepdad's bean dish I was successfully avoiding:
D-Baby: "Did he marinate his beans in Stroh's first?"

.....

during Easter dinner from BG: "Imagine it. Steve, my mom, Ashy, Nick and Nicholas. Send me to North Korea. I got negotiating skillz."
....

with Aubrianni

Me: "4 dark chocolate Hershey minis down. 3 Sarris balls down. I'm counting on you today. Don't let me down, Chief."

Aubrianni: "I had a Kit Kat for breakfast and getting ready to have a sarris cashew egg for lunch. I won't let you down. I'll have hot tea with lunch."

....

Cienna: "Mommy, I know how the Easter bunny gets to all those houses! He has GPS! But he doesn't drive. He hops."