Why I'm Counting Down: Looking Forward to Learning More

This is part five of a blog series about why I'm counting down to vacation, while I catch you up on all that has left an impression on me so far this spring.

I've said before how, if we pay really close attention, we can learn as much from our children as we teach them. This past weekend was no exception.

As I watched Ty, I realized that learning to walk is a lot like walking away--one day it just clicks. Nobody can make you do it. Nobody can give you the center you need for balance; you simply must find it on your own. Nobody should let you hold their hand for too long, or you'll learn to rely on that for stability instead of your own two feet.

Between the kids and good friends, many things clicked for me this weekend. And I always love weekends like that because it proves how many things I still have to learn, which keeps my life from stagnating. It's sometimes as simple as sitting in a room among loving people, realizing how good you feel, accepting that you can no longer surround yourself with people or influences who inspire you to feel otherwise. It's in the words of a trusted student ministry leader who reminds you that what most people call "luck," you call "blessings." It's in the hands of a great-grandmother that have hugged you so many times, making you certain that there's no bigger blessing than loving a family. It's in the eyes of first-time parents who simply cannot stop staring at their newborn, smiling in total awe that their child's life began with their love.

One of Larry's friends became a father this weekend, and as soon as I saw the little photo on his cell phone, I started crying. I know how precious and irreplacable those first hours are, that incomparable joy that fills your entire being and the world around you, and I know that unbreakable bond and biological pull that changes your life forever. And I thanked God that I've been able to know all those things. And I thanked God that our friends were blessed to now know all those things.

It seemed to me that we should always strive toward such beauty and goodness, and the more you feel that kind of beauty and goodness in the world, the more difficult it becomes to be where it is absent.

And I guess when you feel that complete disconnect is when you finally walk away.

Where I want to walk most right now, though, is with my babies, and my love, through the sand, along the beach, just being thankful that I get to share it with each of them.