Ol' Dirty Cantard

"Me and Mariah go back like babies and pacifiahs!" --Ol' Dirty Bastard on the "Fantasy" intro

Friends, raise your hand if you, too, go back with Mariah Carey like babies and pacifiahs! My hand is up. Is yours?

In one hour, I'll be watching the contestants of "American Idol" perform the popular culture that is the Mariah Carey songbook. I simply cannot wait to twitter (www.twitter.com) my way through what I expect to be a truly magical evening.

How can it not be? Let's look at some of the lyrics--with Ol' Dirty's intro being among the best, clearly:

"I feel good
I feel nice
I've never felt so
Satisfied"

--Emotions

What if we had only thought she felt good? It's great that she set us straight and sang to us that she also felt "nice."

"I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won't fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Everyday
Of my life
Always
So come and take me away"

--Dreamlover

Again, what if we had assumed she only wanted love every day and not "always" ...of her life?

"And it's just like honey
When you're love comes over me
Oh baby I've got a dependency
Always strung out for another taste of your honey
It's like honey when it washes over me
You know sugar never ever was so sweet
And I'm dying for ya, crying for ya, I adore ya
One hit of your love addicted me
Now I'm strung out on you darling
Don't you see
Every night and dayI can hardly wait
For another taste of honey
Honey I can't describe
How good it feels inside
Honey I can't describe
How good it feels inside"

--Honey

It's as though Shakespeare wrote it.

"Mmmmmm
Whoaaaaaa"

--Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)

I couldn't match it.

"i gotta shake you off
just like the calgon commercial
i really gotta get up out of here
and go somewhere"

--Shake It Off

How proud was Calgon?


But, really, all sarcasm aside, I love Mariah. I grew up with Mariah. The proof is that I've dedicated today's blog to her when I have so much more I can be sharing--the weekend, the wedding, new friends, old friends, new engagements, new books. But I've chosen Mariah. (And I own many of her albums on cassettes, and all the greatest hits on CD. Not to mention that I love her newest hit "Touch My Body").

I can't wait to see what the Idols do in 30 minutes. You can read my minute-by-minute review on Twitter.

Some early predictions about who will sing what:

Brooke White: Hero --and she gets voted off on Wednesday because we're tired of the nice act.

Carly Smithson: Can't Let Go --and she'll do more runs than Mariah.

David Archuleta: One Sweet Day --and he'll make it a four-part harmony.

David Cook: Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) -- and it won't matter if he's good or not because his brother with brain cancer will be in the audience. Who would let him get voted off?

Jason Castro: Without You -- and has his best night ever.

Kristy Lee Cook: Vision of Love --and twangs it out.

Syesha Mercado: When You Believe --and Randy will remind her she's not Whitney.