A Friendly Reminder

I was both listening and daydreaming, all the while realizing that oil companies are getting richer as churches are acquiring deficits. It's no surprise when, after the benediction, we go into a world that's getting harder to afford. Yet we're also reminded how we can't afford to lose that world. To pollution, terrorism or poor economics.

There are some days, though, when my mind journeys through past years when I was college-poor, fatter and naive. Yet I know I felt wealthy, beautiful and smart despite my circumstances. I was aware of the reality, but I was also aware that I could change it.

And I did.

I've learned all it really takes to do anything is determination. And prayer. For me, prayer has always mattered.

I'm continually amazed by the number of people who complain about not having things they never ask for. In my life, asking is the first step. There are many things I could seemingly do on my own, but I pray for guidance before each emotional mission.

I prayed a lot this week, as tears filled my eyes many times. Luckily, they were mostly tears of joy.

Except when I was made aware that a family member, whom I love dearly, has been sitting around the kitchen table at all hours of the early morning because she hates her appearance so much that she can't sleep. And she's absolutely gorgeous. If you tell her that, she doesn't believe you. She just lists her flaws like a grocery order--pointing out things nobody else has noticed. Various dietary supplements and pills promising metabolism magic line her countertops, and she might try the manure diet if it claimed to shrink belly fat.

It's a whole different kind of disorder than any I'm familiar with. She eats well, works out and is in great health. But she sees what we can't. She can't look at herself logically.

I have no answers, only hugs. I tell her she's beautiful. And I mean it. And it's true. And it doesn't matter.

But what also will not matter are these magic medicines and inconsistent diets.

Friends, take it from someone who has gained and lost weight over the course of her life: The only way to safely lose weight and keep it off is to eat well and exercise. It's just a little math. You need to eat less than you burn. You need to exercise to increase your metabolism and keep your body healthy. Ignore the walk around the block B.S. You've got to move your ass!

"Whether it's from living or loving, I try to break a sweat every day."
--Matthew McConaughey

I say that, while also having some horrible photos of myself tucked away at the bottom of a Rubbermaid container in my basement. But what kept me from throwing them in the garbage or crying at my kitchen table at 4 a.m. was the amazing best friends in my life who always made me feel beautiful--or at least not gross.

I'm talking about the kind of friends who send you a card after not being able to talk regularly for two weeks (because they were doing something worthwhile like studying for grad school finals or teaching college classes!) Every time I passed that card this weekend, I smiled and told Larry, "I love Mary Beth." And every time there's a candle flickering during the morning service at church, I think of her wedding for some reason. I've wondered why--because there are a lot of candles at a lot of weddings--and the only thing I can come up with is that it's different when it's your best friend. It's so much more special when you watch the most loving girl you know on the happiest day of her life.

And Joe and Jocelyn. They're like West Coast rocks every time the Pacific tidal wave that is giddy Candy or stressed-out-about-the-book Candy decides to crash before receding. I treasure those phone calls and messages with Joe--even when they're rushed--because they're all so positive. And every time Jocelyn is home, everything feels more like home.

And BG. She's always there when you need her most--whether it's to remind you of the charter and opening words of the BG Constitution (Press Up) or to demand shots and brrrs. She's the rain after a drought of laughter.

And Jes and Lou. They kind of feel like the little sister and little brother I never had, but have. They pander to my darkest loves like Tacos & Tequila, and CCR and Cocktails. And I always just enjoy them.

And Mizz Looman. She's the kind of friend who is an ally. She is often without shame, but she's the best remedy for the worst day (and for imitating Tila Tequila).

And my brothers-in-law. I knew they were good apples from the times Larry and I would be watching TV in his parents' basement, and they'd come through saying, "Hey, Sis!" They both remain incredibly loyal and loving to Larry and me, and they're such proud and awesome uncles. Justin is like our second Netflix and is awesome to talk about music and movies with. Ryan is an everyman, who loves people, talking on porches, sharing beers and making people laugh.

And Linds and Joel. Regardless of how many weeks pass before we're in touch again, it's like no time has passed at all.

And Claudia, Emily and Alicia. So fun. So diverse. So much in common. So happy we became friends. (And so loving the dinners and drinks!)

And Joanne. It's impossible to feel anything but comfortable in her house. Couches magically suck you in as cups of tea appear in your hand.

And Mom and Mum. It's been an interesting road with both of them, but I wouldn't be happy without either of them. I'm so lucky to have both of them in my life, and I can't wait until Mother's Day week to celebrate their love.

And Cienna and Ty. What makes writing the book so incredible is because I get to write about my favorite subject--the miracle of life, new beginnings and the best blessings. I'm not sure it's possible to share all I've learned from raising my children in a matter of pages. And the only words I can ever think of when I look at them--even as one is getting in the shower and the other is crying for a drink while the phone is ringing and Larry is looking for his socks--is "You are, undoubtedly, the best thing that has ever happened to me."

And Lar. You could make a person insane. But you could make them laugh more than you could make them insane. And you could warm their heart more than you could make them laugh. And you could pleasantly surprise them more than you could warm their heart. And you could make them feel loved more than you could pleasantly surprise them. And more than all of that, any of that, you can make them love you because you're. just. so. incredibly. lovable. You're such an awesome husband--the kind people don't think are out there anymore. You're an awesome dad. And you're just destined to be an awesome pap. And I want to go through all of that with you, when it's great, when it's good and when it sucks. Because even when it sucks, it's fun.

So it's love, Friends. Love.