About a Boy

Dear Tyler,

Among the many things I've learned from you and your sister, my favorite is this: how a person comes into this world is how they go through it.

For example, my pregnancy with your sister was healthy, easy and beautiful, but her entrance happened much faster than we expected. She seemed so determined to get into this big world. And by the time you are able to read this, you will have learned that Cienna is a girl who gets what she wants--whether through work or charm.

My mother, your Nana, tells me that she had a short labor with me as well, and I was born in front of a class of medical students. Maybe that's why I'm as comfortable with an audience and enjoy communicating so much.

You didn't seem to want a disruption in your environment. Not only were you very late (which you obviously get from me), you were looking up, so your head wasn't in position for a traditional delivery. Thus, you entered the world via c-section.

And I knew the first time I saw your cute, little face and beautiful, big eyes that you would be just like your daddy--that you would grow up to be the kind of man who just wouldn't go away. I knew that you would grow up to be as loyal as he is, never capable of abandoning what you love, physically or emotionally.

The front-page headline that day, above the fold (don't worry--we'll talk someday about why that matters), said "Don't look down," and I thought that was funny because you were born the way you were because you wouldn't look down.

(I'm also proud to say that the Sunday paper was the first thing I read to both you and your sister when you were born. You were both born on Saturdays, so it worked out!)

Even though it made for a longer recovery, I have to admit that the eternal optimist in me was very proud that her son wouldn't look down. I can only hope you hold onto that bravery and hope throughout life's challenging moments. In the end, that's what will always get you through.

There's so much opportunity in life. And throughout most of your life you're going to hear people talking about what it means to be smart. Some say it's standardized test scores. Some say it's grades. Some say it's SAT scores. Some say it's what college you go to. Some say it's how much money you make. But what really makes you smart is what you do with all of your opportunities. Smart choices lead to success.

Allow me to ruin the suspense: you won't always make the smart choices. Nobody gets it right 100 percent of the time. (Your mom has seemed to work on a 70/30 plan.)

But what makes that OK is that you have a family that loves you unconditionally. We will always be here for you--wherever here is. You are our priority. When you dream, we will dream with you.

However, we promise not to dream for you. It's important to us that you always follow your heart. There's no healthy aspiration that would ever disappoint us. So as you chart your course, be sure to embrace and appreciate the support system you have. Sometimes all that separates a dream from a dream come true is the right support system.

To be honest, I'm more afraid of failing you somehow. I'm scared that I'll one day run out of answers to questions, or the right advice for moments when you can't be soothed with a lullaby or good book.

But how blessed am I to have memories of all those special hours with you, rocking you as I sang your favorite songs, most of which came from The Beatles: "Across the Universe," "Blackbird," "Yesterday," "Here Comes the Sun," "Hey Jude," "Mr. Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan, "One" by U2" and "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones. I would just stare at you and sing, feeling totally amazed to be holding you in my arms.

I'm certain there's no greater gift in life than motherhood, regardless of how or when that graces a life. And coming from someone who doesn't really believe in luck, I sure do feel lucky to be your mom.

So as I get things ready for your first birthday party, gently crying in amazement that you were ever so tiny to fit into your first shirt and tossel cap, I know that before I can even imagine it I'll be writing about you graduating from high school in another cap and gown.

My wish is that between now and then, all of your birthdays, and all of your unbirthdays, will be filled with hope, peace, love, good health and happiness.

Love,
Mom