Very brief

I'm loving this weather! It feels like early fall, and that's always a good thing. I noticed this most yesterday evening when I was leaving work while it was still daylight--which is rare--and the city was just so beautiful. All that was missing was a football game.

Soon enough, I guess. :-)

Hard work...and pressing up, basically

1. Hello, friends (and cyber-stalkers). You probably know (if we're friends or if you've stalked me thoroughly) that I'm someone who believes everything happens for a reason. And, well, I've come to believe the reason for this recession (even if certain republicans in a failed administration refuse to call it that) is to force people to get back to some hard work. This country was founded on it. That's why I believe this country became a superpower. The fact that we've moved away from this as a culture is why I think we're growing weaker and poorer.

A recent report amidst the whole Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac coverage claimed that some investors admitted to a lower level of productivity and higher tech usage. Is this a surprise? Look around you! Many of your co-workers use company time to shop online, blog, look up their fantasy stats, email with friends, IM, and the list goes on. I've done it. So have you.

But there's a limit to how much of it should be done. And when.

Sometimes people just don't like their jobs--it's merely the source of a paycheck. There's not much pride in their work or even a mild appreciation for being employed during our dismal economic forecast. "If I had the job I wanted, I'd do a good job." That kind of attitude.

Are we really that spoiled? Do you think our grandfathers had a passion for mining? Do you think our grandfathers enjoyed sweating all day in the mills? Do you think they yearned to wash dishes in a restaurant? No. They did it to take care of their families. And too many water breaks would get them fired, let alone the thought of chatting on the job.

Hey, I'm the first to admit that I love to communicate, but I get my shite done first. I don't do the IM thing. It's just not conducive to my lifestyle as a busy mom. I blog--usually at night, after work, once the kids are asleep. If I do shop online, it's usually window shopping and, again, at night. The same pretty much goes for email at this point. I text occasionally, but these days I mostly just call the person. Was I always this way? No.

But I used to have this friend who simply could not visit anyone without her laptop. She claimed it was because she was just SO busy at work, but everyone knew she spent the majority of her day IMing and flirting online with her fantasy boyfriend of the week. It always seemed kind of...sad. Not to mention rude to the person she was visiting. And while I wasn't cyberaddicted, I knew I couldn't judge her, even if silently, until I reigned in some of my own bad habits.

When I read those Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac stories, I just wonder: Would things have been any different if we all just put in an honest day's work? And for more than one day...

I sort of think the same thing when I read all these stories about the rising cost of education. On behalf of parents, I'd like to say, "We get it! It's going to be expensive--way more expensive than when we went."

But does that mean our children are doomed? NO!

Here's an idea: Maybe instead of trying to scare an 8-year-old into figuring out how many loans he/she will need, we instead encourage our children to do it the ol' fashioned way! Work hard, earn scholarships!

Get it together, America.

"Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress." -- Alfred A. Montapert

"Do not wait; the time will never be "just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."
--Napoleon Hill

2. Now let me tell you about something really unproductive that I did. On Saturday and Sunday, I was ill. Considerably ill. And I made a mess in the process. We'll leave it at that. But what was nice about feeling like a scene from "Alien" was that I got to re-watch most of season 3 of "The Office." And with Larry and my youngest brother-in-law there, I was in good company. I really really love "The Office." Even if I clearly remember an episode, it still makes me laugh out loud. Also, I'm pretty sure that my stepdad is a combination of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute.

3. But before I was unproductive and sick, I was really really happy. On Friday, we got to spend time with friends for Dinner and Dark Knight, and not only was I not disappointed, but all of my expectations were exceeded. And our friends brought us a gift for the baby, which was totally unexpected and incredibly sweet. Also, I had the best grilled zucchini ever. Ever!

Notes on a Wednesday

A. So I thought things weren't going to be this busy in mid-July, but I was totally wrong. Awesome. Thanks. But I've accepted that life won't slow down until my kids are 25. Maybe. We all know that I love it anyway, though, so... Oh my goodness! It's just so incredible! I mean, not only are filled with an amount of love you never thought possible, you are ultimately responsible for the development of lives. Their minds are like sponges that you can fill with incredible truths and beautiful stories and images. And you realize that all of these things you started doing while they were still in utero--like reading to them and singing songs--has only fostered their undeniable enjoyment of reading and dancing. It's just this amazing journey, and I make sure that I force myself to slow things down so we can appreciate the moments we're in when we're in them. I still can't fall asleep at night unless I check on my children first. And it still melts my heart to see them cuddled up with their favorite blankie (and in Ty's case, a Boppy too!) It's a feeling that's hard to describe sometimes, but if I can try... You know what it's like when you're dating someone, and you get those butterflies when you're about to see them, or even when you're thinking about them while in rush hour traffic? You know how awesome it feels to fall asleep with that person and daydream--or even nightdream--about all of things you'll do with them and where you'll go together? It's just a simple joy that comes from being with someone you love. And if you put the right amount of care into it during the course of a lifetime, that feeling doesn't have to fade away. It's just an excitement and a love so beautiful. And children don't have to change that, even as your relationship may change. I think children can make you fall in love in a different way because they show you another dimension to your lover. Unconditional love--which is the kind a parent should have for their child(ren)--is attractive. And unconditionally loving your child(ren) together bonds you in a whole new way. Mainly though, together, you realize that children redefine happiness.

B. I daydream about the baby a lot. Being a mother, being pregnant, is just absolutely magical.

C. I'm not sure if this is just in my head or what, but I swear that Larry's hormones change right along with mine. When I'm sick and stressed and tired during the beginning of a pregnancy, he's a grumpy bear. When I hit the second trimester high--where everything is beautiful and wonderful--he's totally sweet and adoring. And when I hit the third trimester of waddling and back pain, he's like a live-in superhero, always there to give massages (while sometimes unsuccessfully attempting to play video games with one hand).

D. I always cry at weddings, and we have two coming up! We're really excited for them! It's a great opportunity to not only wish the best for your married friends and celebrate their love, but you generally get to have fun with a lot of your other friends too! There's something so perfect about simply being a guest.

E. I've tried to contain my excitement for this weekend's premiers, but I just can't any longer! I can't wait for Batman! I think I've taped every interview with Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. By the way, I got a text from a friend this week that said, "Y do i feel like m.freeman is some1 who should b in your fam?" To which I replied, "I LOVE YOU!" The answer, of course, is because he made the BGBG list of "People Who Don't F Around."

And, also, I'm entirely too excited for "Mamma Mia!" I know that Batman will be the first to get my time and money, but I really need to see MM as well. Maybe I can convince my mom to go with me. "Dancing Queen" is sort of our song together anyway. Also, whenever I talk to Larry about it, he sort of reluctantly agrees and says, "Maybe you should see if any girls want to go." Hmm....anyone want to go see "Mamma Mia!" with me? I mean, it's hard to avoid any movie with Colin Firth, Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan. And, by the way, I love Colin Firth in interviews.

F. I love farmers' markets for summer produce.

G. Have a great day, loves! I'm off to make dinner for the fam!

"Wildflowers Don't Care Where They Grow"

Wildflowers

by Dolly Parton

The hills were alive with wildflowers

And I was as wild, even wilder than they

For at least I could run, they just died in the sun

And I refused to just wither in place

Just a wild mountain rose, needing freedom to grow

So I ran fearing not where I'd go

When a flower grows wild, it can always survive

Wildflowers don't care where they grow

And the flowers I knew in the fields where I grew

Were content to be lost in the crowd

They were common and close

I had no room for growth

I wanted so much to branch out

I uprooted myself from home ground and left

Took my dreams and I took to the road

When a flower grows wild, it can always survive

Wildflowers don't care where they grow.

I grew up fast and wild and I never felt right

In a garden so different from me

I just never belonged, I just longed to be gone

So the garden, one day, set me free

Hitched a ride with the wind and since he was my friend

I just let him decide where we'd go

When a flower grows wild, it can always survive

Wildflowers don't care where they grow.

When a flower grows wild, it can always survive

Wildflowers don't care where they grow.

Joy is best when it's simple and genuine.

It really doesn't even matter that my camera batteries died halfway through 4th of July Festivities. What I'll remember most is an image I could never forget--an image I'll hold close to my heart forever: The look of complete, genuine joy and wonder in the eyes of my children.

By the time our community had set off it's first firework, we were covered in free glowsticks, glow bracelets, glow necklaces and glow swords. (Duquesne Light loves it some chemoluminescence!) And my family had been fully "regaled" with my stories about twirling glow batons. Hey, at the very least, it helped tune out the band in the background which destroyed the musical stylings of Amy Winehouse and Stevie Ray Vaughn.

We were sitting beneath the show, so the first blast was loud enough to inspire a pouty lip from Ty. Once I held him, though, he was fine and even began pointing and clapping at all the pretty lights. Cienna, a child clearly after my heart which she already has, said, "It's like a bunch of your Christmas trees, Mommy." She doesn't know it yet, but that bought her a car when she's 16. Maybe not, but you get the idea of how happy I was.

I pretty much used Larry as back support while I held Ty and Cienna sat on the opposite side of me. At one point, it felt like time had stopped and I was in some movie moment. Everything seemed to get quiet, despite the noises above, and all I could see was everyone else looking up.

My children had the most magical looks on their faces. Their eyes were reflecting the lights of the fireworks and were as big as planets. Only, instead of being covered in continents and waterways, they were covered in wonder and joy. They were so incredibly happy and perfect--the way the simplicity of youth delivers such happiness and perfection.

And just as quickly as it brought tears to my eyes, I couldn't help but feel as excited as they were. Because the beauty of childhood--which is simplicity--can be enjoyed at any age.

I carried that mantra throughout the rest of my weekend, taking pause to enjoy my garden a little more and all the wildflowers that so-appropriately surround our house. I returned correspondence to some friends. I daydreamed about tiny baby hands and tiny baby feet. And first smiles. I listened to the "Garden State" soundtrack on the way to work. I grilled. I went to a picnic. I planned this weekend's Batman Bacchanal. I appreciated having the best brothers-in-law a girl could ever ask for. We visited grandmas. I fingerpainted with Ty, who giggled the whole time, assuming he was making a big mess for Mommy that wasn't going to be easily washed away. I colored three Scooby-Doo pictures with Cienna, which have now been added to the fridge. I read the Sunday paper.

And it was joyful.

Even though my camera batteries died during 4th of July Festivities, I did manage to get this photo of Cienna and her best friend, Tayla. They are 2 months and 2 days apart, with Cienna being the older one.

Also included are some photos of flowers from our gardens. I'll be adding a few to each blog. The one that includes a row of pansies, bottom right, is actually Cienna's garden. She planted it and waters it daily--even if it rains.